Perfect Life

When I was a kid, I just knew I'd have the perfect life when I grew up.

When I was kid, I imagined that I'd settle down, get married, and have kids.

The only thing I got right was the settling down part. Unfortunately, it's my body that's settled down, not my life. Those body parts I was particularly proud of in my youth have settled down at least six inches from where they were 20 years ago.

Kids? A long time ago, I realized kids are for people who aren't addicted to sleep.

Sleep deprivation starts early. Being pregnant presents its own sleeping challenges. Once born, the baby dictates when and if the parents sleep. Then there's a childhood full of nightmares, illnesses and slumber parties to keep parents awake.

When they get to be teenagers, then parents get to sleep, right? Not in today's world. Even if the parents are lucky enough to have kids that make it home by curfew, there's a still a lot to keep them up worrying all night. Are the kids into drugs, gangs, dangerous counter-culture, or raves? Should you preach abstinence or safe sex? Purple hair is a blessing these days.

Marriage? My dog and cat are about as much of a long-term relationship as I can handle. And I ended up giving the cat to my parents.

When I was a kid, I just knew I 'd have a great home and a housekeeper. After owning a home, I can really relate to that movie "The Money Pit". I used travel nine months out of the year. Owning a house for me meant the following:

Get home. Fix the air conditioner. Go back on the road.
Get home. Fix the roof. Go back on the road.
Get home. Fix the toilet. Replace the carpet. Go back on the road.
Get home. Replace the air conditioner. Go back on the road.
Sold the house.

I've never had the home (or the paycheck) big enough for the housekeeper.

That leaves the career.

When I was a kid, I dreamed I'd have this great career. You know, plenty of responsibility, creativity, money, travel and free time? Well, that's how kids dream isn't it?

My last career as a Catastrophe Claim Supervisor for a major insurance company fit two of those criteria. Plenty of responsibility and plenty of travel. Unfortunately, being a storm-chaser who followed hurricanes, tornadoes and hailstorms, meant I was on call to leave for anywhere in the country with just 24 hours notice. Then I might be gone for three weeks to six months at a time.

The 72 hour workweeks didn't leave much room for free time. The money was okay, if you don't consider the trade-offs; like having control over my own life. And creativity? Two words say it all; insurance claims.

When I was a kid, I just knew I'd have the perfect life when I grew up. I was right. But, I've changed my definition of perfect to mean unpredictable.